The one place I don't have to win.

For most of my professional life, success has been measurable.

There are goals to reach, clients to please, other professionals to compete with and awards that tell you, at least for a moment in time, that you are doing something right. I have always been competitive. I enjoy accomplishing things, and I won’t pretend that professional recognition doesn’t feel good; as I sit here looking up at all my professional 'bling'.

I am also a people pleaser by nature. I want people to be happy with me. I want to meet expectations, solve problems and prove that I can be counted on. I need to be needed it seems.

Creating is different.

When I sit down to make something, I am not trying to beat anyone else. There is no ranking or production award.

I can begin simply because a color catches my attention or an idea wanders into my brain and asks, “What if?”

What if I combined these colors? What if I added a charm here? What if I tried clay, resin, beads, ribbon, gemstones, herbs, wax—or, can I do it with hot glue? :>)

Sometimes the result becomes what I imagined. Most times, it becomes something completely different. Occasionally, it becomes a lesson in what not to do next time. FYI, hot glue burns.

However it turned out, I did a thing. There is freedom in doing something without needing to win at it. I've had plenty of attempts go in the trash. Some I save in case I can 'fix it later', or take it apart and make something else.

Typically, I want instructions, predictable results and some reassurance that I'm not wasting my time or money.

Creating doesn’t usually offer that option.

It's an experiment. I am suppose to tolerate crooked lines (really annoys me) , off-center designs (even more annoying) and materials that refuse to behave the way they did in the video.

Clearly, this topic has more layers than I expected. So, in the spirit of learning when to stop (something I’m apparently still working on), I’ll at least pause here and see you next week.

-- me